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roar, roar, tiger, shark, it's the start of shipwrecked 2009 [Feb. 11th, 2009|05:31 pm]
r3ality shows


So, I finally got round to watching the first episode of Shipwrecked 2009.

I didn't know if I'd be able to bring myself to watch this season. Going to an audition for it last year put me off watching the last few episodes of Shipwrecked 2008 (and I still don't know who won).

However, the presence of it on SkyPlus+ and the fact that my Dad had surprisingly, not gotten round to deleting it on one of his crazed Sky Plus purging sprees, I broke and watched it this afternoon.

Holy crap, every year I forget how annoying everybody is. Infact, if I recall, the first stage of the audition process was the weeding out the less annoying characters, accents first.

This years founder members have the unusual characteristic of being almost unanimously dire. There is one possible contender for likeability in shark leader Xanthi (?) but it's early days, and there may be some underlying bias on my part since he is a Leeds boy.

The sharks have rhyming names which will presumedly help them in a few weeks time when they write a song which they will try to get released on their return to the UK; eventually resorting to singing it on their lucrative ciruits of student clubs.

Something like;

to the power of the shark... SHARKEY ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!
we're gonna get YOOUU!

Well, it gives the sharks something to work with for once. They don't have the benefit that the tigers have of a roar to disguise the utter shit-tasticness of their song.

Tigers tigers we are the tigers hear us roar,
roar roar, tigers, tigers,roar, roar.
we will prowl, we will roar, roar roar
yes we said it, now hear our roar

As always there are some 'major twists' in this years Shipwrecked. This week a team leader was elected. The teams decided on two similar looking guys as their leaders which made watching it quite confusing.

The t-t-tigers chose a model, who in his intro video, stated that he believes his over worked veiny body is an 'added bonus' for the women he sleeps with. He has also taken a vow of celebacy... so far he has been celebate for an entire 2 months and is terribly 'worried' that the female islanders might tempt him. Since as of yet he has a horsey girl and fat wound up 18 year old to choose from he should be safe from women. He is more likely to be tempted by gaystraight heshe blackwhite 18 year old Scouse Oompa Loompa Mark.

The Sharks chose Xanthi (?) a straight acting gay guy from Leeds who er, played football in his intro video. Reminds me a bit of Dom Joly. That's about it.

So the first twist... if you can call the blatantly obvious a twist... was that each team leader had to 'sacrifice' a team mate to the other side for 'at least 4 weeks'. Oh, what a responsibility to put to one person, how difficult it must be, if only he could discuss it with his team mates before making a decision... oh wait... he can. The tigers chose Naganthi (?) because they all hated her, although I think they missed an opportunity to fuck up the Shark's song by sending them Mark. Xanthi chose Holly because he did not think she felt she had bonded with everybody... obviously having misheard her desperate pleas a few minutes earlier to be kept on the island because she was a Shark through and through and felt she'd bonded really well with everybody.

Twist number two (nail-biting) Only one islander is going to see the £70000 this year. Considering this prize is usually split 20 ways - about £3500 each - it's not exactly the biggest loss. I've heard they get paid £60 loss of earnings for each day on the island anyway (totalling approx £5200 for originals) and some of them will be able to make upwards of one hundred pounds by posing in the News of The World, opening supermarkets and appearing at night clubs.